I Believe You. – Susan M. Conway

I Believe You

I Believe You.

When you say there are ghosts, when you say you’ve seen them. I have too, so we aren’t much too different, you and I.

When you said goodbye to a living person you’d die for is the cruelest fate.

When you say it is easier to hate…

I believe you.

I’ve had my moments, and to be transparent, I don’t miss those times.

The million spaces between breaths, the breaths that were split-second moments, and the moments that were eternities… The crushing weight of a beguiling incomplete sentence, an unreturned phone call, an unreturned I love you, the drowning…

Then, I didn’t think the chaos would ever end. And because I have done quite a bit of time in captivity, I feel I know a thing or two about letting things go.

I know how sacred the act of release is. I have spent a lifetime romanticizing it, chasing it, dreaming it, sticking my fingers through the bars so that I could feel how hard the air out there hits.

And man, let me tell you, one of the hardest things to say to someone, in earnest, after a life like ours, is not I love you, or goodbye.

There were three words, together, that refused to unfurl themselves on my palate not too long ago. Once I realized no one was coming to save me and that it was my duty to open the door and walk through it, it became an honor and privilege for ‘I believe you’ to tumble from my mouth with grace.

I believe you.

I believe you.

I believe you.

My eyes soften, as does my voice, and I always want to touch the person I am singing this hymn to.

I believe you, it is real.

You are real.

Your feelings are real.

You are not crazy.

I am sorry that people made you feel so terrible inside.

I believe you.

Thank all the powers that be for bringing me into this place, so far from my past.

Loving has been a jagged coastline, speckled with haunted houses, and leaving has been the same.

Both have brought me here, to unlocked gates and the shelter of my own arms.


Susan M. Conway is an indie author from Auburn, Georgia, USA. Her debut novel, “A Life of Whoredom” was published in August, 2018. Other publications include a contribution to the stunning We Will Not Be Silenced anthology, and two short story fiction ebooks, available on Amazon and Kindle. She is currently working on Life After Whoredom, a sequel to her debut novel.

Susan has been writing since grade school. In 2012, she began working on A Life of Whoredom. Initially, it was a blog that she was encouraged by her fans, to turn it into the novel that it is today. She is an avid reader, gardener, and meme hoarder. She can be found either going on adventures with her family, or lying awake at all hours of the night laughing at memes-even though she swore she was going to bed by 10 PM.

 

3 thoughts on “I Believe You. – Susan M. Conway

  1. So many long for a healing word to hear or speak
    So often they do not know the words they seek
    Until they are found and heard, revealed
    In apparent simplicity of “I Believe You”
    An equal gift to hear and believe
    And to be believed when it if said

    Liked by 2 people

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